My hair and hair goals

Hello.
Today I decided to write about my hair goals, hair aesthetic I like etc.

I was born as blond little angel and I hated it so much since I was at first grade. I wanted to get rid of it as soon as my parents allow me to die my hair.
So when I was 15, I bought red hair colour and I was wearing this same red hair colour for almost four years. Then I started to hate it, unnatural red helmet on my head, also very damaged. I've get very short haircut and I started with ginger henna colour and soon I ended with colouring my hair completely.

me with red hair 4 years ago

Now I my hair colour is something indescribable, but absolutely natural. Its somehow blonde, somehow ginger, somehow brown... you know, wet straw colour.. 

Right now Im growing my hair as much as I can, trying to keep it heathly. I'm experimentaly colouring it sometimes, with purple or blue foam hair colours, it stays just one or two wash or sometimes with some directions colour or also with one special type of violiet sores lotion :D But I don't want to bleach my hair, so it's almost viewless. 
I would like to show you all the hair cuts I wish I could have, but now I have different goal and I don't know if I'll ever try to achieve some of them.

So the first thing I'm dreaming about is having black hair! I don't want to change my hair colour so rapidly, so I guess I'll never even try it, but it would be awesome to be "all black". 
Another thing I would love to wear is black bob as Cleopatra, as Mathilda from Leon, as Olga Hepnarová, as Larissa from Lebanon Hanover, as Jane Lane from Daria. Haircut of strong females with dark side. 

I, Olga Hepnarova

Next thing I would like to create on my head, by I just don't know if it will really suit me, is deathrock mohawk - or just somehow shaved sides as you know from trad goth style.  I think I'll never do it, cause I have really thin hair and I just can't take off any volume, also this hairstyle requires so many back combing and I want to have healthly hair :D Also I don't feel like this would suit to my real "me".

Deathrock mohawk... (I don't know who's the girl on photo, if you know, tell me)

Another thing... Bald head. I absolutely adore all the girls that could do it, it's someow really important thing to do and I understand what leads you to do it, cause I had a problem with how society sees the girls with long hair and with short hair. Sometimes you need a rest from your "girly" look and side. BUT I think Im over it now, I don't have a problem with it so why would I do that? Haircut is not just haircut, it's symbolical thing, it's ritual.
 

Roseshock's bald head

Another thing really can't wear but I'm so jealous about people who can - short bangs. I tried it and I looked like a penis, I just need to wear my long lolita fringe, cutted exactly few milimiters above the eyebrows.

Yuka Mannami

 Than I would be also happy if blue or purple hair colour could stay on unbleached hair, but that's again my stupid problem with bleach. I would also like to try dreadlocks one day, but I just somehow... don't want to be considered as a hippie or party girl. I love the thing that you can put some weird coloured snakes on you head, but I hate the thing that it's dreads :D I'm sorry, but I absolutely hate dreads. I had many dreadhead hippie friends, but under their happy face is so many problems and they're hiding their dark side so much...
So because I just don't know what to do with my hair, Im just letting it grow and grow and I want really long hair. Mabye one day I'll try black henna, or maybe I'll lighten it so I'll be real blonde as I was as a kid.




What are yours hair goals of dreams? 
N.